What Should Have Been
by Aggie89
Summary: Because Over My Dead Body made me so very angry. Enjoy :)


Essie put down the phone and spotted Ange at the end of the ward. She made her way over urgently.

"Sacha has been paged downstairs, it's Lofty he's had an accident and needs surgery, and it's not looking good."

Ange was shocked for a moment. She knew Dom and Lofty had fallen out but she was sure he would be devastated to hear this news.

"Ok, do they need my help?"

"No, I think they're ok Serena is down there and they're waiting for Neuro as well. I just thought you might want to be with Dom. He's down in the observation area."

Ange thought for a second but she was sure Dominic would have asked for her if she was wanted and she didn't want to push herself on him again. He'd not welcomed her presence since she tried to push him back to Carole.

"No that's fine he knows where I am if he needs me."Essie sighed, did this woman not understand her son at all.

She grabbed Anges arm and dragged her into the empty YAU bay and started talking very firmly, "Listen to me, he will never tell you he wants you there, he will never admit he needs you and he will never ever ask for you. He won't because he doesn't think he deserves it, he doesn't think you'll be there because he thinks you don't want him and he will tell himself that it's fine, and that he's fine. Just like you are now.

But that's wrong, you're both wrong. He's not fine but he'll cope because he always does. He shouldn't have to. He needs you."

"But Carole.."

"Is unreliable, he would never ask her for support. He never knows whether she'll support him or Barry so he would never ask her to choose. And now they've spilt up well I'm sure that he's blaming himself for that too. He needs someone to steady him I can go and I will go if you won't, but it should be you. Show him that he doesn't have to ask and that he deserves it no matter what. Deep down he's always thought he's unworthy go to him, be his Mum and prove him wrong."

Ange nodded her head shakily and left to head to AAU. Her mind running a mile a minute she hasn't thought that Dom had any issues in asking for what he wanted. He seemed so confident. But then she'd not known about Isaac either and she knew what that kind of relationship could do to a person. Maybe she had pushed Dom back too far.

She reached the entrance to AAU theatre and she could see Dom stood in the observation area. He looked terrified, she'd never seen him look that way before and it tore through her heart. Before she even knew it she was through the doors and at his side.

He didn't even notice her come in; he was so intent on watching. It looked like Serena and Sacha were doing the urgent prep work while waiting for Neuro to join them. " Dominic you shouldn't be in here, come and wait outside with me."She said gently tugging on his arm. She could see Sacha making shooing movements at Dom as well. Dom stammered, "No I need to," Ange didn't let him finish, "No you don't, you can trust them to do their jobs ok, come on we can wait in Serena's office."

Dom conceded defeat and let her lead him away. He managed to walk to the office with Ange guiding him along barely noticing his surroundings. Ange led him over to the sofa and he sat down. She went back and shut the door and blinds to give Dom a bit of privacy.

He was just sat staring into space. She wasn't sure what to do now. If this was Chloe she'd have wrapped her in a hug, it was becoming more and more obvious to her that both of her children had very similar needs. What Essie had said upstairs rang true for Chloe as well. Asking for help was something she just didn't do, but Ange knew her well enough to know when to intervene. She didn't know Dom that well and the guilt of that was eating away at her.

In the end she realised if she was going to be here and support him then she needed to do it properly. She sat down beside him on the sofa; he was sat with his head in his hands. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and just sat with him. She knew it was likely going to be a long wait and there was nothing to be said that would comfort him. Dom knew the risks of surgery just as she did. She wasn't sure what had happened but both Serena and Sacha had looked extremely stressed.

They sat there together for what felt like an age. Dom felt like he was stuck in some kind of nightmare. Everything was in turmoil, just this morning he and Lofty had been talking divorce or separation and now, now he faced losing the person he loved most. Lofty hurting him hadn't changed that, he still loved him much like he'd still loved Isaac for a time. The difference was that Lofty hadn't done it to punish him, although Dom didn't know whether he could forgive things. He didn't want Lofty to die!

He was very grateful for Anges presence beside him although he didn't have any words to thank her. He was glad she didn't seem to expect him to talk right now. He was just taking comfort that he wasn't alone.

As soon as they heard the door handle start to turn both Ange and Dom sat up suddenly alert. Ange reached over and took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently. He squeezed back and offered her a nervous smile before turning towards Sacha who had knelt down to be on his level.

"I'm so sorry Dom, we've done all we can the rest is up to him now. We've managed to clear the hematoma from the brain but there was a bleed and we're not sure how that will affect him. The splenectomy went to plan. He's in ITU in a medical coma for now but his blood loss was extensive, it's, it's not looking good I'm afraid," Sacha explained softly.

Dom's face just crumpled, all of a sudden he couldn't breathe and he just needed to be somewhere else. He let go of Ange got up and dodged around Sacha to leave. Just barely holding it together enough to get off the ward. He headed for the supply room down the hall.

Sacha sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Ange was still staring at the spot Dom had been sat in only moments before. "He shouldn't be alone," Sacha pointed out. "Do you want me to go?" Ange snapped back to reality, "No I'll go, could you do me a favour though and let Chloe know? She's not speaking to either of us much at the moment but she should know."

She got up quickly and followed in Dom's footsteps. She thought he might have gone outside as he had before when he was upset so started heading in that direction. As she walked past the supply cupboard she could hear things being smashed. She opened the door gently and peeked in. Dom was stood there breathing heavily surrounded by stuff he'd just knocked from one of the shelves.

"Dominic," she said as softly as she could. She took a step towards him frowning when he tried to ward her from coming closer. "I can't do this, I can't lose him," he cried as he started sinking towards the ground letting loose heart wrenching sobs as he lost control. Ange moved forward quickly and caught him in her arms to slow his decent and lowered with him. She managed to adjust them so she was holding him tightly against her as he sobbed. His head resting on her shoulder while he was crumpled on the floor with her knelt beside him.

There was nothing she could say, she didn't know if it was going to be alright although she wished she could fix this. Tears were flowing down her cheeks at the sight and feel of her son's pain. She barely knew Lofty but he was her son in law and possibly now she wouldn't get to know him.

She started rocking Dom against her trying to sooth the tears at least if not the cause. Out of habit she started humming an old lullaby her Mum had taught her to sooth both Dom and Chloe when they'd been babies. She didn't remember the words anymore but humming had often calmed Chloe down.

After a few minutes Dom's sobs subsided and he was just silently crying now. He hadn't even thought to push Ange away initially he hadn't been thinking at all and even though he knew he should because Chloe needed her more. He couldn't help but want to stay where he was for a bit, her presence was soothing and the song she'd been humming was familiar somehow.

He started pulling himself together and pulled himself away, wiping the tears away and scooting so that he was sat against the wall. Ange let go reluctantly when Dom started pulling away. She hadn't realised how much she'd wanted to hold him again until just now. She watched him settle himself against the wall.

She started gathering up some of the supplies that had been scattered around and moving them out the way and back onto the shelf. Wanting to give Dom a bit of space and to stop her arms reaching for him again as they itched to do. Dom realised he could see Ange's phone on the floor in front of him. Must have dropped at some point. He reached forwards to pick it up to hand it to her when the door opened.


End file.
